Divorce: The Final Goodbye

As I have stated numerous times on this blog, I was divorced back in July of 2005. It was an emotional time for me. I was so devastated, I actually had trouble speaking. That is the truth. I felt completely alone, abandoned by family and friends. None of this was the case. It was just during this time every little thing seemed to be magnified. Any slight or perceived slight was ten times worse to me. I was homeless for a period of time after my divorce. I wasn't homeless in the traditional sense of living in the streets. I stayed with family until I got back on my feet. I was extremely bitter. Practically anything would set me off. Yes, I was deeply resentful of my ex-wife. I had agreed to move to be where her elderly parents lived so she could be with them. After we moved up there (and started having problems) she said it was all my idea to move there. That was the kind of insanity I was up against with my ex. I've never been as angry with one person in my life as I was with my ex-wife.

 After I moved back to my hometown, I managed to pull myself back up and moved on with my life. But, I was still bitter about the sacrifice I had made for my ex-wife. I did not really want to be around my in-laws (although they were very nice people and I never had problems with them). I was mad at the way she treated me. It seems after we moved up there, my ex-wife got this idea she could "change" me into the type of man she wanted. Namely, like her father. You can imagine how I reacted to that. Vicious arguments ensued, and the result was my ex wanting a divorce. As soon as she said that, any love, caring or devotion that I ever had for her, disappeared instantly. That surprised me also. I stayed in touch with her over the past seven years merely out of consideration for her parents. My former mother-in-law passed away in January 2009. Her father is in his 90s and may not have much longer. So, a little over a week ago, I did something I had been planning for upon the announcement that her father had died. I have been dreaming of sending her that one, final email. But, she had to go and do something that forced me to bring what little relationship we had to a complete and grinding halt.

 I won't say what she did. Suffice it to say, it was vintage ex-wife stuff. I sent her an email telling her there was simply no point in our staying in contact any further. To do so would continue the anger and bitterness that resulted in our divorce. I made it a point to let her know why I wanted nothing further to do with her. I doubt she will understand the reason. She thinks she is infallible. She is always the victim (and she plays that card quite well). I didn't want to play her game any more. I don't have to. There was a lot more that I said in that email. A lot of stuff that needed to be said. I feel released for having said it. I know she will cry to her father about what I said. That is my only regret. However, sometimes you just have to do that one single thing that you know you have to do. It's not an easy thing to do. But, saying that final goodbye to my ex-wife is something that needed to be done.

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