I try to avoid going to the malls here in Mobile, AL as much as possible. I try to avoid Wal-Mart like the plague. The reason for both is that I have always hated large crowds. So, it was with considerable reluctance on my part to go to the mall this past Saturday. The reason I went was to get new eyeglasses. I get a discount at a particular eyeglass store in the mall. Thus, my reason for going Saturday afternoon.

The store has one of these one-hour deals if you don't want no-line bifocals or the stuff that makes your glasses turn dark in the sun. I'm not now nor will ever be a fashion follower. That's just not me. Anyway, I was told if I wanted to walk around the mall or whatever, they would have the glasses ready in “about an hour.” I always get a little nervous when someone says “about.” It gives them leeway that I do not like. “About an hour” usually means 2 or 3 hours. But, the mall was not very crowded for a Saturday afternoon. So, I got me some buttered popcorn at a vendor, a coke and sat down on a bench seat near this beautiful waterfall they have inside the mall. The sound of water is sooooo relaxing.

As I have said many times on this blog, I am a people watcher. No, I'm not a damn stalker. People just fascinate me. And I had my choice to be enraptured by Saturday. Take for example this young couple in front an electronics store. Look, I remember what it is like to be young. Hormones raging out of control and you have a pretty young thing with you. But, doing the tongue exchange is a bit much, especially in front of small children who were pointing at them. Next time, get a room, Romeo and Juliette. And, of course, you have the mother with all three of her kids and perhaps 2 or 3 of her neighbors kids as well walking through the mall. First, she wasn't paying any attention to them. Kids in a mall is a dangerous thing if you can't keep your eye on them at all times. I just don't understand someone doing that. Pretty soon, there was the proverbial argument taking place just behind the waterfall where I was sitting. As most people are doing this day and time, it was over money. I thought having an argument over money in the mall was a bit ironic. This went on for at least 10 minutes and I was starting to get agitated myself. I was just trying to pass time away, relaxing by this waterfall. They eventually went away to continue their argument elsewhere.

Of course, it never fails that if there is one jerk out of X number of people, he is going to find me. It is a simple law of physics, I believe. I don't know the exact formula. But, it works pretty well. Some guy comes up to me, and asks me if I would be interested in a good deal on some name brand watches. Yes, he asked this right in the mall, with a jewelry store right in back of us. I told him, no, I would not be interested in buying a watch. If I wanted a watch, I would go in the jewelry store directly in back of us. Well, this irks the guy. He said, “Well, you don't have to be so rude! I was just trying to help you out!” And then he storms off.  It just simply amazes me how these people can find me. Honestly. Then about 15 minutes later, a man gets into a big confrontation with a mall security guard. Why? Well, the man has a German Shepard on a leash walking him in the mall. You can not have animals in the mall. It states it right in front of every entrance to the mall. This guy is arguing he had brought the dog in on other occasions and no one said anything. So, that starts getting out of control and the man is arrested for disorderly conduct by Mobile's finest. Wonderful.

I decided to check on my eyeglasses and miracle of miracles, they were ready in just slightly less than an hour. Just in time. I mostly enjoyed my “yearly” visit to the mall. I love that relaxing waterfall. It is beautiful. But, an hour is about all I can take. I'll be back again.....”in about a year.”