10/02/2008

Wrestling: The “Professional” Kind


I don’t know how I get myself talked into these things. But, for the first time since I was 12 years old, I am going to a so-called professional wrestling event next week. I don’t know if it is called WWE or WWF or whatever it’s called. My best friend, Mike, who missed his calling as a salesman, talked me into something I never thought I would do again. I think the whole thing is ridiculous. If any of it were real, those men and women would not be able to get out of bed the next day. Chairs slammed on top of their head, body slams from top of the ropes, and forearms to the head would send all of them to the hospital. There are people who believe, to this day, it is all real. To those people, I say, I feel your insanity.

I did go back in the day (again, I was in the 10-12 year old range) to local “professional” wrestling at the local Armory. We had guys such as The Green Mountain Boys (both brothers who worked at the local shipyard as their day time job), Mario Galento who went from bad guy to good guy over the years. Then there was Cowboy Bob Kelly (who later owned a wrecker company and then a real estate company), Wild Man Jack who supposedly lived in a swamp and Igor the Mad Russian (this was during the Cold War Era, mind you) and on and on of ridiculous stage names. They should all join the Screen Actors Guild. They are all, ALL actors and poor ones at that. I have watched some of this nonsense on the superstation TBS and am appalled that people still believe in this crap. Unfortunately, I will be among the delusional taking in this “sporting event” next week.

Look for me. I’ll be the one hiding his head behind a newspaper.

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