1) Some worms will eat themselves if they can't find any food!

I’m of the opinion there are some humans that would do the same thing.

2) In 1386, a pig in France was executed by public hanging for the murder of a child.

I will believe this when pigs fly…oh wait.

3) Walt Disney was afraid of mice.

Wonder what Mickey thought about that...

4) Dolphins sleep with one eye open.

Hell, if I knew a Great White Shark could wake me with his jaws, I’d keep both eyes open.

5) Smearing a small amount of dog feces on an insect bite will relieve the itching and swelling.

I’ll just continue using Neosporin, thank you very much.

6) The skin needed for elbow transplants must be taken from the scrotum of a cadaver.

I guess now would be a good time to have the doctor check my tennis elbow problem.

7) King Henry VIII slept with a gigantic axe

If I had six wives (a very sobering thought) of which three I had divorced, two I had executed and the remaining one died under mysterious circumstances, I’d keep a big axe in bed with me too. King Henry must have had a lot of enemies.

8) To human taste buds, Zima is virtually indistinguishable from zebra urine.

Seriously…how the hell would someone know this unless…never mind.

9) Queen Elizabeth I regarded herself as a paragon of cleanliness. She declared that she bathed once every three months, whether she needed it or not.

I knew some guys at work that the Queen would have considered paragons of cleanliness also.

10) Your heart beats over 100,000 times a day.

My heart beats that much in one minute staring at a picture of Angelina Jolie (ok sue me, I’m an old goat for saying that).