Normally, when I go to bed at night, I leave my house shoes right next to my bed in case I have to get up to let Ralph go out to “potty.” This usually is around 2-3AM. He will start whining and I know I better let him out pronto! Last night, he started whining and I got up to let him out. However, my house shoes were not where I left them. Puzzled, I looked under the bed and looked around the bedroom. Ralph was really whining now. So, we both went barefoot across the carpet to the back door. Ralph went and did his business behind the china berry tree and I let him back in the house.


I was still puzzled about those house shoes, however. I looked around the kitchen, living room and dining room. No house shoes to be found anywhere. Standing in my kitchen at 3:30AM, pondering if those house shoes had developed a mind of their own and walked out the door. Now, my attention shifted to Ralph. Ralph, now recovered from his “termite food” sickness, was back to his rascally self in the days past that vet visit. This past Sunday he had something playing with it in the living room. Upon inspecting his “toy,” I discovered he had my wallet! I tried to take it from him and he ran around the house with it, with me in hot pursuit. This is Ralph at his finest.


“Where did you put my shoes?” Ralph answers with a “woof.” Sleepy and not wanting to “argue” with my beagle, I decided to go use the bathroom and go back to bed. I turned on the bathroom light and immediately found my missing house shoes. They were in...the...toilet!!! Ralph decided to get up sometime during the night and play one of his little doggie tricks on me. Now, I always close that toilet lid because of Ralph. Your guess as to how he lifted that lid is as good as mine.


Of course, I will never use those toilet house shoes again. But, now I am going to have to get “toilet locks” for both toilets. And I am going to have to put my new house shoes on top of my five-foot high bookcase. Assuming Ralph doesn't develop wings to fly, I think the new house shoes are safe. Unfortunately, the old house shoes are awaiting the garbage man. Case closed.