5/22/2008

Stupid Celebrity Quotes




It seems the news media, in their always desperate attempt to drum up news when there really isn’t any, always manages to pull the rabbit out of the hat in Hollywood or Washington D.C. Most of these “celebrities” never met a camera they didn’t like. They are so profound in their statements concerning any hot button issue of the day! I’m not sure why having your face plastered on the cinematic screen makes you any more intelligent than the guy who works at a shipyard or a policeman on the beat. But, it seems the news media always takes it that way. Art Linkletter used to have a TV series called “Kids say the Darndest Things”. Well, I’m sure Art would agree, the same goes for those PhD’s in Washington D.C. and Hollywood.”

Let’s take a look at some of the more delightful quips from these brainiacs.

“If you have intercourse you run the risk of dying and the ramifications of death are final.” - Cyndi Lauper

Gee Cyndi, that's one way to curb world population growth. Scare the hell out of people with the thought that sexual activity will kill you. So, why are you still among the living? But, girls just wanna have fun, right Cyndi? By any chance could you and Brook Shields be twins separated at birth?

“Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost an important part of your life.” - Brook Shields

Yes, I'd say Brook and Cyndi most definitely are twin sisters bucking for a Nobel Prize in Physics.

“I’d rather be dead than singing Satisfaction when I’m forty-five.” - Mick Jagger

So Mick, how's that whole death thing working out for you at age 60+?

“Predictions are difficult, especially about the future.”
- Yogi Berra

Yogi, I could dedicate an entire month just to you. You’re funny even if you’re not trying to be, unless you’re not trying to be funny and that’s a cow of a whole different color.

“I’ve never really wanted to go to Japan. Simply because I don’t like eating fish. And I know that’s very popular out there in Africa.” - Britney Spears
In addition to her many books on parenthood, Britney has now branched out to write one called” Cultures are cool, if you happen to like that sort of thing.” And don’t miss her next blockbuster, “Geography for U.S. Americans.” Coming to a Barnes and Noble near you.

“Too many OB/GYN’s aren’t able to practice their love with women all across the country.”George W. Bush, Acting President of the United States
No comment.

“Rarely is the question asked, is our children learning?”
- George W. Bush, alleged President of the United States

Many times the question is asked, how the hell did you ever become our President?!?!?

"I think that the film Clueless was very deep. I think it was deep in the way that it was very light. I think lightness has to come from a very deep place if it's true lightness."
- Alicia Silverstone, Actress

Alicia, no one could have performed better in the lead role of “Clueless” than you. You were made for that movie. Obviously.

"I feel my best when I'm happy."
- Wynona Ryder

And I feel my worst when I'm sad, Wynona. There....we're even.



"I loved Jordan. He was one of the greatest athletes of our time."

Mariah Carey on hearing of the death of the King of Jordan.

Mariah, you have three great assets. One of them is your singing ability. I suggest you stick to doing just that.









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