4/13/2008

Dating at Age 50+

As I said in an earlier blog entry, I was divorced about three years ago (July 4th to be exact of this year). I was very despondent after my divorce. I felt unwanted, unloved and almost at the point of being suicidal. I have never admitted the latter to anyone. I had loved my wife and thought she loved me. But, I found out it was an idea that she loved, someone that she wanted me to become. That idea man, of course, was someone just like her father. So, once she found that there would be no changing of me, she filed for divorce. I blame myself for a lot of things in that marriage. But, not becoming like her father is not one of them.

After about 6-9 months of feeling sorry for myself, I started to pull myself together and move on with my life. I had friends who encouraged me to get out more and, of course, they wanted to set me up with someone in my age group. Before I started dating again, I wanted to reinvent myself. I went on an exercise and diet regimen that brought my weight from 242lbs to my present 195lbs. I muscled up and for the first time in my life, I watch what I eat and exercise 2-3 times a day, 6 days a week. I wanted to become a lean, mean love machine at age 56. It was hell to do. But, I did it.

I have discovered several different things since I started dating again. 1. Middle-age spread is a good description of people in my age group. I realize not everyone can have the sort of drive and will power it takes to diet and exercise. For the most part, most of the women I have met are, as they so enchantingly refer to themselves, BBW. I have never been attracted to women that are overtly overweight or underweight for that matter. I have always been too picky and have been alone on many weekend nights as a result. But, I see no point in leading a woman on when I know there is not going to be a mutual attraction. I make it a point not to date any woman under 40 for obvious reasons. Any woman under 30 wanting to date a man in my age bracket has serious issues. If she does want to date him, it's because he's got money to burn, in my not so humble opinion. 2. Women's sex drive seems to increase with entering their 40s, and 50s. This is something I did not expect to find. I don't know if it's due to menopause or what. 3. They are extremely lonely. I can sympathize with them on this. One mistake a lot of women make (and men too for that matter) is that they are willing to overlook far too many things in a potential spouse so as not to be lonely. After a hellacious marriage, I discovered that there are things far more worse than being lonely. 4. This one should really be under #3. But, trying to marry after a short dating period is something I have found to be prevalent amongst women in my age group. For the first time in my life, I have had two women propose marriage to me. Of course, I respectfully and tactfully told them my marrying days are behind me. One of these women that proposed, started talking marriage to me after two weeks! Loneliness can blur the senses of people. That's the only explanation I can come up with for some of the things I have noticed. 5. It seems that there are a lot of women 40-50+ who did not get the bar and club scene out of their system when they left their 20s. I'm just not into that any longer. I'd rather just have friends over, drink and grill out is my idea of a good time now. Oh, I like going out to a club ONCE in a while. But, not every damn night you date.

There's a lot more I could say and will say in future posts.

1 comments:

Went thru the same thing and dated for about six years before I decided to get married to sweet thang. Every time she got mad at me she would leave and bring another car load back. Boy could I tell you some war stories on dating. I have only written about a few. Need to add a few this winter. Overall life is good the second time around. Hang in there.

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